There are many journeys in life that take directions we don’t expect. In my life, priesthood has been that journey. As a child, I had many presumptions of what my priesthood would be. Looking back, priesthood has been far different from those childhood presumptions. This disconnect between expectation and experience begs a question – Was the journey worth it after 21 years of priesthood?
The spiritual and emotional death of some of those presumptions have created struggle. However, most of the spiritual and emotional deaths of my presumptions have led me to a life far more beautiful and meaningful than I could have imagined. So, I can say with confidence that the difference between my presumptions and my lived reality of priesthood has ultimately been an affirmation of my call to priesthood; even though I would be lying if I didn’t admit that there have been moments of struggle.
In a similar way, my journey through astrophotography has had a similar trajectory. When I started astrophotography, the desire was to take spectacular images of the the night sky. Now, I find it more satisfying to spend evenings in contemplative quiet under the stars with the images being secondary.
Don’t get wrong, there is great joy when I get a nice image. For example, when I captured the image of the Eagle Nebula below, I felt such joy and satisfaction. It was a night where all the ingredients came together to make such images possible: Cool temperatures, low humidity, calm wind and a beautifully clear sky.
The clarity of the night made me think of trying to capture a second object. My “best object” suggestions on my star map pointed me to M101 or the Pinwheel Galaxy. Though I like this image, I did come away feeling a little “meh” about the quality, but the experience of that night was a clear 10 out of 10!
After a night of great success, the next evening humbled me. The weather forecast was even clearer than the night before, but the humidity was a bit higher. I started my sequence and then the wind picked up – sensor shake – blurry images – blah!
Then I decided to do a 100 image mosaic of the Lagoon Nebula and the Trifid Nebula. I love this combination of targets given their diversity of emission nebulae (pinks), reflection nebulae (blues) and dark nebulae (blacks). All started well and then wispy clouds came in, the humidity spiked and the winds picked up. The session was cut short.
A photographer I respect always says “the only barrier between your bad images and the general public is you.” I don’t mind sharing my “bad” images, especially when they’re not really bad but just incomplete. Here’s what I was able to capture before I had to wrap of for the night.
So, what does this have to do with my earlier reflection on the redirected journey? A common greeting among star gazers is, “Clear skies.” Its a well-wish for what all of us need in order to see the stars. When I started astrophotography, I thought that a cloudless night would be enough. However, from that starting point, you need to explore things like moon cycles, temperature, humidity, upper atmosphere wildfire smoke, light pollution and many other natural factors.
Astrophotography does give me a glimpse into the beauty of the night sky, but it has led me on a path of being far more concerned with things that impact this act of scientific artistry. I have learned about how climate change can impact weather cycles in ways that can make a clear night a “bad night” for imaging. I’ve learned the ecological impact, both positive and negative, of wildfires on our echo systems. I’ve learned how our obsession with lighting the night has both done damage to our night skies, but also contributes to our over consumption of natural resources. In short, I’m happy with the images I have captured during this journey, but I am more at peace with how I understand the world around me and how that world impacts the images I’m able to capture (or not capture).
Who would have thought that simply taking nice pictures of the night sky would awaken a real passion and zeal to understand environmental ethics? Even though there are moments of disappoint, realizing that being an astrophotographer in Wisconsin has some unique challenges, the journey has led me to a far more rich understanding of the world around me. This has been a journey with a different ending point than I expected, but one I would not trade for anything.
What are moments in your life when you have embarked on a journey you thought was taking you in one direction, but landed you in a different, better place? If you have the courage, share that journey in the comments below. Regardless of what journey you are on in your life, be open to the twists and turns it presents. These changes of destination very well might be necessary to help you understand the person God made you to be and the world we live in.
