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Stupid Astronomer Tricks #5: Opening a can of…

By Br. Guy Consolmagno  |  17 Jan 2020

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This entry is part [part not set] of 18 in the series Stupid astronomer

We’re running a membership drive this month – our goal is 150 new members, and we’re nearly 10% of the way there so far, thanks! – and as a part of it we’re including this blatant clickbait series… Besides, it’s a chance to tell some of the funny stories that come up during cloudy nights at the VATT!

The old astronomer tells the tale… As we know, most astronomy runs on coffee. (Except, of course, for the excellent astronomy department at Brigham Young University, the LDS equivalent of the Vatican Observatory; Mormons don’t drink coffee!)

So you can picture the scene… A senior professor, a theorist needless to say, came into the Admin Assistant’s office with a can opener in hand, and a puzzled look on his face. “We’re out of coffee,” he said.

Image from Wikimedia

Before the Admin could growl at him, he hastened to add, “I know, your job is not to make coffee for us; and I am willing to make a new pot. But I’ve never opened a can with anything other than an electric can opener!” He looked up, sheepishly, at this admission. “What do you do with this mechanical gizmo I found in the coffee room?”

Of course, the Admin took pity and made the coffee, all the while muttering about theorists…

A few years later, this story was passed on to the next Admin Assistant. It was received with some incredulity… until a week later, the very same professor used the very same excuse once again for not making a new pot of coffee!

Why should you click on our donate button and help support our site? Your money supports the work of the Vatican Observatory, including our research, our telescope, our biennial summer schools, our educational outreach… and our mission to serve as a living sign of how science and religion are not enemies but work together without preconceptions in search of the truth. About a third of our budget comes from donations. And rather than just being at the mercy of one or two big donors or foundations, we want to show that our mission has a broader appeal. So we’re asking for lots of people willing to send us $10 a month as a sign that they support our mission..and enjoy reading our stories. Can you join us?

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